My clients often wonder if they are really suited to each other. They thought they were at the start but over time the differences have become more apparent and they worry that they’re not compatible.
So how similar do we need to be to have a good relationship?
Well, it depends on what aspect of relating you are considering. In some cases yes, in others no.
In brief:
• You need to have common values.
• You need to have shared, but not the same, interests.
• You can have very different personalities.
It’s actually good to have different personalities, different ways of seeing the world, of being in the world. Different ways of thinking, different ways of feeling, different ways of expressing – these all broaden the ways you as a couple can live and experience life.
A big caveat here though is that you have to appreciate the differences, not make each other wrong for being different.
And you have to realise that the same qualities can have both good and bad aspects. Let’s take an example of a couple where one sees the other as “my rock”, solid, dependable, someone who makes them feel really safe and secure in the world. Yet, those same positive... read more